Which Candidate Will Give Us The Most Free Sh*t?!?

free shit democrats

I watched both Democratic debates. It was without a doubt, a contest as to which one of them will give away the most free ‘shit’.

According to their apparent core beliefs, all things come from government (or should come from government). And that includes the power to give us free shit for votes.

They say we all have the “right” to FREE health care. Ya! Give me that shit, I want it for free! We have “rights” don’t ya know…

Oh wait, that’s right… if all doctors and hospitals were forced to accept the same rates that medicare pays, they would all go out of business (uncomfortable truth). Nah, lets not talk about that. Lets not talk about how we’re going to pay for all this free shit. Haven’t you heard? Debt doesn’t matter any more!

But! Wait just a minute there mister… I’ve got it all figured out — all we gotta do is have the government take over the hospitals! That’ll fix it! Then it’s all free! Yahoo!

Wait, there’s more! Not only do all of us get FREE health care, but any and all illegals get it too! Yay!

So, lets say that the word gets out — the New America is giving away FREE health care (and lots of other free shit). Instead of a million border crossing’s a year, we might get, say, 10 million! Yahoo! Maybe even more than that!

There was a candidate who wants to give us all $1,000 a month! A cool $12K a year for everybody! I looked over at Mrs.J and said, that’s freaking awesome! Except for one thing… WHY STOP THERE? I want MORE! Give me MORE! What’s wrong with giving us $5K a month? Heck, $10K a month! Our debt doesn’t matter, so who gives a shit, right?

Oh, there’s more. Most of them apparently want to forgive the $Trillion+ in student loan debt. Hooray! Oh wait, I don’t have any debt. That’s not fair! Give me MORE in compensation because if you’re paying off my neighbor’s debt but I don’t have any, I need reparations for that! Give me some mo’ money!

Then I looked over at Mrs.J again and said this: If FREE healthcare is a ‘right’, then for goodness sake why the hell isn’t FREE FOOD a right!! I want FREE FOOD for ALL Americans! Gimme dat! Without food we all gonna die! That should be a “right” before FREE healthcare, right? So I want that too!

Hey! Why stop there? It doesn’t make sense to just stop there. If da government is gonna just give me free shit without any repercussions (that’s a big word), then why not give more free shit? That makes sense doesn’t it? Logical? I have more rights! GIVE ME MORE!



WhooHooo! Come on Dem’s, who’s gonna gimme da most FREE shit and you got my vote!!!

(Is that basically how some (most?) of the debates came across to you?)